To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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