Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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