it wasn't lemon gatorade
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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