Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
