i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
