There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
