I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
