Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
