I will die if light touches me.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
BRING THE BAGELS
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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