You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I think weed is turning my hair brown
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
