every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Randomize
