It was confusing and full of hummus
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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