sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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