i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
You need Xanax blowdarts
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
