I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
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