I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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