I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
you inspire me to be a worse person
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
