its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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