I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
