blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
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