Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
