Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
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