Your tits are I can't wait for
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
