And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
