I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
