yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
