As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
