Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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