my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize