I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
