i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
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