I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I will be naked everywhere
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
