If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
