please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize