How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
