Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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