If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
