Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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