omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
People with herpes should wear stickers.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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