Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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