Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
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