My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
