It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
