I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
