the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
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