and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
