So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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