i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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