I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
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