Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Randomize
