your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize