Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
