she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
