Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
