It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
