Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
