Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Randomize
