Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
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