im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize
