dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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