How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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