It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
