Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
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