I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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